New disease discovered: ex-ministerialitis
I think there is a disease that is reaching epidemic proportions in some sections of the Parliamentary Labour Party. Ex-ministerialitis.
Symptoms
1) Inability to recognise that you were useless. In fact you believe that you were the best thing for British public administration since the advent of parliamentary sovereignty. It was all the media's fault that you got the sack.
2) Being under the impression that anyone gives monkey's what you say. As a minister the civil service and press couldn't get enough of what you had to say, sufferers fail to realise that on leaving office this stops. Some will act as if nothing has actually changed at all.
3) Entering cars by the rear doors and then threatening the imaginary driver with the sack when the car doesn't move.
4) Distain for the whips office. Before you became a minister you kissed their arses, when you were a minister you had the pleasure of seeing them excerising the black arts to get your laws through parliament and now they expect you to vote for stuff that the ****** who replaced you is putting before parliament. Get real you tell them before jetting off from Heathrow on a freebie "factfinding" trip.
5) Excessive media exposure. Often this will take the form of insulting your former colleages especially the ******* that sacked you. In tragic instances the victim will be under the impression that said exposure will be a route back to ministerial office.
6) Tarting yourself around the private sector in search of directorships. Having run a department of state going back to constituency work full time is unbearable. You need
to give the country the benefit of your experience and why not rake it in at the same time.
7) Coming up with inane policy ideas that are clearly bonkers. In severe cases they will be for policy areas which as a minister you had nothing to do with and written in green ink.
If you think that you have been suffering from symptoms like that get
help as soon as possible. The names of possible sufferers can be left in the comments section.