John Leech "Honestly I wasn't me who farted"

Guy on the left "You dirty bugger"
 

What? An MP? Really? Do they let you off school to do it?
 

"I wasn't me"? It's an interesting defence, but maybe one John Leech should stick with when he's up for re-election.
 

Guy on the left (insistently):
"No, No, No! You are NOT captaining our University Challenge team next year"
Guy on the right (pleadingly): (ahem, Ed)
"Oh, please. My degree wasn't that bad! People think I'm a bit dim.
Guy on the left:
"You mean you have a degree Dimbo?
Dimbo on the right (embarrasedly):
"Have you been reading those damn Labour bloggers? They've got it Infamy, Infamy."

FOOTNOTE: Guy on the left WAS captain of UC team which won last year. But he's NOT at the Met! And he certainly do PMH at Brunel. Ex-students from there. Apart from teh very excellent and First Class john McDonnell are doh!brains.

Do you know who the other two are Will? Some ex-Pres of MMU is reheating old Leechy lies at his asylum in Gawsworth. Allegedly.
 

No, I'm alright thanks. I'm not drinking. I've got some coke lined up here. Right in front of my nose.
 

Danny was always providing good crack at the MMU Students Union - now that Leech's puritan love rival Ramsbottom had finally flown the coup.
 

Ha ha ha, very good anonymous 1:37!!

Can I suggest a friendly amendment to your resolution?

Now that Leech's puritan love rival Ramsbottom had finally flown the coup Leech's chums could have a good crcak and line up some coke in the bar. They could finally stop skulking in the caretaker's closet.
 

Nobody freakin' well move! The camera shutter will close in a minute.
 

So this pub is gonna close as well as The Christie Hospital. Wow! You lying bastard!!
 

Chorus of lost boys and girls,
The camera shutter will close in a minute? Ha ha ha. You and your jokes!! But the bar *is* going to close. And that's a Fib Dem promise.
Hee hee hee. Do you want a drink? Or are you happy with that coke?
That stuff can make you irritable, hyperactive and full of shit you know?
 

Better than Guido's Will. Wednesday afternoon? It must be time for games.
 

Girls on beerds. Boys on the coke. What a party this is.
 

"The pub quickly emptied once word got round that the dreaded Lib Dem Gang were onto their second shandies of the evening."
 

First, I'd like to congratulate the Hon member for Parburypolitica for securing this debate. I'd like to begin by assuring the Hon "Gentlemen" (and Ladies? let's hope not) that I am not a shandy drinker. I don't drink beerds either. I am on coke. Full time on coke.

As for the suggestion that we ever had our good crack and coke "in the closet" - that is disgraceful and preposterous and it almost never happened like that, well not since my election. I have been neither in or out of the caretaker'c closet and I resent the implication that I've got a fifth job mopping up.

And as for the idea of being dim. That's rubbish. I studied for quite a while at Brunel University. I am not going to rise to the baiting and tell you my grades, but it is no secret that they weren't too clever. But I like to think I make up for that with my amazing imagination.

As you can tell I think I am perfectly competent to understand the Hon Members' points and to contribute to this debate so ably secured and introduced without the slightest empty windbag wittering that without fail characterises my own drowning not waving contributions to the work of the house.

To summarise:

1. Shandy no, coke yes
2. Closet no, or hardly ever anyway
3. Not nice, not dim

Blessings to all who work in trying circumstances

Johnno
 

Just because the five latest stories on the face of my website are from July and August doesn't mean I've been a lazy boy. Not at all. Just in cognito and incommunicado.
 

In that photo is Aubrey, Owen and some girl. They are all part of the Manchester lib dem campaign team.
 

Is that a boy on the right then?
 

Leech: We put out 28 leaflets and they put out two. And now they're saying we spent over the limit! Perhaps someone would give me a list of the expenses returns rejected and investigated by the Electoral Commision and then explain why we Fibs shouldn't cheat like hell? ... (expecting laughter)

Angry Chorus: You are a disgusting monster and when/if you finally buy your round you skinflint bastard we're off to join the Scientologists. In relative terms they are Truthers.
 

You know I once scored seven goals in a football match "for my university"? You didn't?
 

Yes it is a guy
 

Girl on left saying "What Christie going to close, your having me on??" Leech saying "Shut up your my agent not a Doctor, or is it the other way around"
 

Will - do you have the name of a good libel lawyer? It's either that or comment moderation?? Just a thought. Chris P
 

Humour can be a defence.
See Derek Jameson v Private Eye.
 

Humour can be a defence.
See Derek Jameson v Private Eye.